Stardust Meadow

Not all elderly are cascading fountains of wisdom.   But simply because they are old and they see and do things differently than you, and all of active society sees and does things, little life altering gems often bubble up. New on the job, as an Outings Coordinator for a group of elderly I stood in the front of the bus counting a sea of white and grey heads to make sure I hadn’t left anyone behind. It dawned on me then that I was counting an entire bus full of women.   I smiled at all of those gorgeous women and said, “You’re all too beautiful! Where are all the men?!”   And a 90 year old woman shouted back, “They’re all dead!” The whole lot of them burst out laughing and one more shouted out, “And they call US the weaker sex!” Years later working in a retirement home I came to cherish the men that had made it long enough to get there. And, I wasn’t the only one. Every time a man, any age, walked down the hall or through the dining room every female ...

Two years ago my teenage daughter did a report on women in history who disguised themselves as another gender. I loved the topic and followed the studies along with her and found myself really cheering the trans individuals on. I wanted them to be brave and clev er and “win” against societal  norms. And then we came across the story of a  well respected and loved  man who was born with female genitalia who  became  old, was sent to a nursing home and there was “discovered .”  He was dressed in female clothing, was addressed as "she" and called by his female birth name until he died.  Now, this was around 1920. But, I’m not so sure anything much different would happen today. If a female brought into a nursing facility was there discovered to have male genitalia, would she be given a female roommate or male?  I keep reminding folks that separating by gender these days is nearly irrelevant …  Girls like boys like boys like  bi like tra...

Modern zombies annoy me. The only zombies I knew of when I was growing up were from Scooby Doo and they were slow predators that could be easily dooped. Who ever made Zombies fast missed the boat as the whole point of Zombies being scary was that they were s.l.o.w. So, I just took this amazing Death Midwifery/Doula course and over the 14 weeks I am thinking heavily and thoroughly on the massive cultural death denial that is sweeping us to oblivion. Not only death denial but anything “other” or   “different” or “slow” or even, “unpretty.”   Let’s be honest. Our elderly, our differently abled, our mentally challenged (some gifted empaths though they may be) are all in very “special” places where the regular pace of every day is not slowed by their presence. For, what would happen if we allowed Joe at cubical four to have paid leave time to mourn the death of his sister? What would happen if we allowed Maria paid maternity leave and allowed breast pumping breaks? (On...

Through guidance, inquiry and activities built from Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche’s new book,  The Lost Art of Good Conversation,  the Winter Teen Retreat at Karmé Chöling was an incredibly rich program. Seventeen out of twenty teenagers turned in their cell phones for the week while we practiced “Who am I?” “Who am I really?”  and even, “Who am I without my phone?” Shastri Nick Kranz and Jade Kranz led a Simplicity retreat the same week with teachings also based upon  The Lost Art of Good Conversation . After a few days of practicing what a “good” conversation might sound, look, and feel like, the Teen Retreat sat one-on-one in conversation with Simplicity participants and Karmê Chöling staff. No emoticons, no distractions, just eye contact and careful engagement for a twenty minute conversation with a stranger. Beautiful, brilliant, awkward, and genuine conversation emerged, with every single participant from both age groups feeling inspired and appreciated as ...

Death Positivity is on the rise. And it looks… strange in a lot of ways. Caitlin Doughty is a rockstar and the now deceased Jon Underwood is a savior for popularizing Death Cafés world-wide. There are a few other ways that death positivity is spreading its wings and it’s a little less obvious about what kind of impact it is having. There was/is a woman in France who offers to bottle up the scent of your departed loved one and sell it to you. I thought at first the scent would be extracted from the dead human, like what’s done with skunks. And, the mortician let’s the perfumer do that?  I guess it’s more like they try to mimic the scent gathered from the dead person’s clothing. Hummm. Also available in addition to the not so common sea burial is space burial. There’s a service in England that will blast your cremains up into space for about 10,000 pounds. That might seem like an excessive price, but let’s keep in mind that the average funeral in the US costs about $10,000...