Stardust Meadow

Not all elderly are cascading fountains of wisdom.   But simply because they are old and they see and do things differently than you, and all of active society sees and does things, little life altering gems often bubble up. New on the job, as an Outings Coordinator for a group of elderly I stood in the front of the bus counting a sea of white and grey heads to make sure I hadn’t left anyone behind. It dawned on me then that I was counting an entire bus full of women.   I smiled at all of those gorgeous women and said, “You’re all too beautiful! Where are all the men?!”   And a 90 year old woman shouted back, “They’re all dead!” The whole lot of them burst out laughing and one more shouted out, “And they call US the weaker sex!” Years later working in a retirement home I came to cherish the men that had made it long enough to get there. And, I wasn’t the only one. Every time a man, any age, walked down the hall or through the dining room every female ...

Two years ago my teenage daughter did a report on women in history who disguised themselves as another gender. I loved the topic and followed the studies along with her and found myself really cheering the trans individuals on. I wanted them to be brave and clev er and “win” against societal  norms. And then we came across the story of a  well respected and loved  man who was born with female genitalia who  became  old, was sent to a nursing home and there was “discovered .”  He was dressed in female clothing, was addressed as "she" and called by his female birth name until he died.  Now, this was around 1920. But, I’m not so sure anything much different would happen today. If a female brought into a nursing facility was there discovered to have male genitalia, would she be given a female roommate or male?  I keep reminding folks that separating by gender these days is nearly irrelevant …  Girls like boys like boys like  bi like tra...

Modern zombies annoy me. The only zombies I knew of when I was growing up were from Scooby Doo and they were slow predators that could be easily dooped. Who ever made Zombies fast missed the boat as the whole point of Zombies being scary was that they were s.l.o.w. So, I just took this amazing Death Midwifery/Doula course and over the 14 weeks I am thinking heavily and thoroughly on the massive cultural death denial that is sweeping us to oblivion. Not only death denial but anything “other” or   “different” or “slow” or even, “unpretty.”   Let’s be honest. Our elderly, our differently abled, our mentally challenged (some gifted empaths though they may be) are all in very “special” places where the regular pace of every day is not slowed by their presence. For, what would happen if we allowed Joe at cubical four to have paid leave time to mourn the death of his sister? What would happen if we allowed Maria paid maternity leave and allowed breast pumping breaks? (On...